nobody's fool

I saw Yoshitomo Nara's exhibition at Asia Society today.

I had not much interest in his works up until recently, but his installation works of small houses caught my curiosity...So went out out to check it out.

Without having any impression or expectation, I looked through his paintings and installations.
I don't really know about techniques and such for visual arts so I can only tell what I felt.
When I was looking into the small windows of those small houses, it reminded me of my childhood.
I am sure I was not as alone as Mr. Nara was when he was a kid.
But I think the definite loneliness that we would feel when we are kids are universal.
As I grow, the solitary is more comforting as I get to know it better.
We all are complete and dependent creatures. We come to the world alone and die alone.
We share lives with our loved one, but those two moments we have to go through all by ourselves.
In that sense, we all are on the same boat so don't have to feel lonely.  And that is comforting.
Does it make sense?
And that solitary thinking does not make me pessimistic: It is quite the opposite.
I feel so so grateful to be here, live in this moment, be able to feel what I feel.

Also, it was fun to look through the influences from Rock music on his artworks.
He really treats music like his best friends.
Maybe Music for Mr.Nara is books for me.
I would not write like I sing but books are my essential nutrition for my bones.

By the way, I maybe thinking deep because I just finished Mrs. Dalloway.
Or maybe because I finally had my own free time in this past few weeks and feeling so free today. Friday, how I missed you.

奈良美智展を見に、アジアソサエティに。

申し訳ないけどぜんっぜん最近まで興味がありませんでしたが、彼のインスタレーションの小さい家の記事を読んで、とても興味がわいたので。

そんなわけで、何も予習も期待も無くふらっと行ってみて、私は絵を見るの好きだけど、別にテクニックのこととかは知らん。ハートが応えてくれるかどうかでしか判断できない。解説とか出来ないタイプ。いつも感想しか無い。でももしかして何にでもそうかな？

その小さい家々を覗き見ながら、ちっちゃい頃一人で留守番してたようなことを思い出した。
もちろんきっと奈良さんほどは、一人ではなかったと思う。
でも、子供のときのあの独特の寂しさってきっと多かれ少なかれ皆に共通するものなんじゃないかしら。
大きくなって、孤独とももう少しましに付き合えるようになってきたら、ある意味では落ち着く事だな、と思う。皆自分で頑張って産まれて来て、最後はまた一人で死んで行くでしょう。
その間の人生は愛する人たちと分かち合っても、最初と最後の点は自分で向き合わなくては行けない。
それは皆一緒。それは、なんだか、、、慰められる事だと思う。うまく言えないけど。
だったら生きてんのばかみて〜とか全然思わない。
本当に、ここにいて、色々感じられる今があってよかった。


あと、奈良さんの作品が本当にロックの影響を受けてるのを見れて面白かった。
本当に、音楽は彼にとって親友みたいな存在なんだろうな。
私にとっての本みたいに。音楽をやるのでも何でも、私の心の友達だもんな。
色々考えちゃうのは、ダロウェイ夫人を読み終わったせい？
久々の自由な時間で、のびのび考えてるだけ？
金曜日、久々に会えたみたいな感じ。うれしや。